Natural Consequences

Everyone makes bad decisions. And everyone must deal with the consequences of those decisions. Life pretty much takes care of consequences for the most part. For example, missing class to take my license test at the DMV will result in missing classwork and homework for that day, and I will have to make it up.

Instead of lecturing me on the importance of my education and not-so-subtly telling me you disprove of my decision, talk with me about the natural consequences of my decisions.

For example:
"Hey, Em, can we talk about your DMV appointment?"
"Yeah, sure mom."
"I know that you'll be missing class, and I want to discuss that decision. You know that you'll be missing the lesson and classwork, which you will probably need to make up to maintain your good grades."
"Yeah, mom, I know. I will make up the work, and I can talk to my teacher the class before so I can learn what I will be missing."
"Ok, Emily, I'm glad that you know the extent of your decision. AP Language is an important class."
"Yeah, mom, I know, ok."

Talk about consequences of the decision. Another good idea is to make a list of pros and cons.

For Example
Pros
getting my license
not having to retake the permit test
quieter streets to drive during the test (opposed to after school/rush hour)
the ability to make up work

Cons
missing the lesson
missing classwork
having to make up work

To me, the pros outweigh the cons, so I am going to follow through in my decision to miss class.

Obviously natural consequences don't work for everything. There will always be situations that require punishment, which I will address in my next post!